MARRIAGE IS MEANT TO BE FOR LIFE

MARRIAGE IS FOR LIFE

I was ironing a dress the other day and for every little wrinkle that I ironed out...about 5 more were ironed in!! I thought it was just me and a bad day to iron, but then I realized it was the material. It was just not good dress material.

 You know...marriage is like that. Some people are just not good marriage material.

 People though, unlike that dress material, can change. If you are planning to marry, make sure you are good marriage material and make sure the one you are marrying is also. If you find otherwise, postpone that wedding until you grow up, because divorce destroys homes, not just a relationship between two people.

I heard a sermon the other day (from one of my favorite people and my very favorite preacher) that compared a home to a garden. A home is where God intended for a family to be nurtured and in which little children grow up. Those little plants need tender care and attention to grow up as God intended.

 He said: "What if you had a beautiful garden and some one came across it with a bulldozer, and just plowed it up and crushed it down!" Divorce does that to homes and families. No wonder God said in Malachi that He hates divorce.
A family broken by natural sickness and death is left in better shape than one broken by divorce. My brother, sister and I were raised in this kind of home situation and I can tell you that as bad as death is, it is much kinder than a divorce in the home.

Malachi 2: 10-16 is very interesting. God tells why He instituted marriage: Because He was seeking Godly offspring.He is talking to Judah and telling them some of the mistakes they have made as His chosen nation and as individuals:

"Have we not all one Father ? Did not one God create us? Why do we profane the covenant of our fathers by breaking faith with one another? Judah has broken faith. A detestable thing has been committed in Israel and in Jerusalem: Judah has desecrated the sanctuary the LORD loves, by marrying the daughter of a foreign god. As for the man who does this, whoever he may be, may the LORD cut him off from the tents of Jacob —even though he brings offerings to the LORD Almighty." Another thing you do: You flood the LORD's altar with tears. You weep and wail because he no longer pays attention to your offerings or accepts them with pleasure from your hands."

"You ask, 'Why?' "

"It is because the LORD is acting as the witness between you and the wife of your youth, because you have broken faith with her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant."

"Has not the LORD made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth."

"I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel, "and I hate a man's covering himself with violence as well as with his garment," says the LORD Almighty. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith."

 So if you are contemplating divorce in your life, please think again. Do everything possible to keep that from happening. Forgive, if that is necessary. Don't let pride keep you from asking for forgiveness if you are at fault. Especially if you have children, don't let this 'bulldozer' come rampaging across your family. 

©Edna L. Ingram

 

 

    

　

 

 

 

SELF-DENYING OR SELF-SEEKING

In Matthew 22:34-36, Jesus was asked a very simple but profound question concerning the Law; “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus gave a very simple but profound answer to the question in verses 37-40. Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

 

Much could be said and volumes have been written concerning this statement by Jesus, but I would like to focus on two points.  First of all, Jesus did not give just the greatest commandment, he gave the two greatest commandments.

 

Secondly, Jesus says that the Law and the Prophets hang, not just on the greatest commandment, but on the two greatest commandments. Jesus indicates that these two commandments are inseparable and that one cannot make a legitimate claim to be obeying the first commandment if one is not making every effort to obey the second commandment.

 

The apostle, John makes this very clear as he writes in I John 4:20-21, If anyone says, “I love God,” yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.  

 

The love spoken of in Matthew 22 and I John 4 is “agape” love and the apostle, Paul gives the characteristics of this “agape” love in I Corinthians 13:4-8. Again, much could be said about each of these characteristics of agape love but I would like to bring your attention to the seventh characteristic which is listed in verse 5; it (love) is not self-seeking.

 

When we consider this characteristic of the love that God wants us to have for Him and for our neighbors it becomes obvious that to truly love God is to seek what pleases Him not what pleases me. To truly love my neighbor is to seek my neighbor’s good and well-being ahead of my own good and well-being.

 

Jesus makes this characteristic of love an imperative for discipleship. In Matthew 16:24 Jesus states, “If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself…”  Why is self-denial so important to discipleship? Because as long as we harbor a self-seeking attitude, we will never attain the “agape” love that fulfills the first and second greatest commandments from God.

 

As Christians, we should take an objective look at every word that we speak, every deed that we do and every decision that we make and ask ourselves the question, “Is this self-denying or is this self-seeking.

Wendell Ingram

A friend has this huge dog, named Brody, tied up in his yard. One day Brody was sound asleep and two little puppies were walking by and came up into his yard. My friend hollered "Brody!" and the huge dog woke up and started barking really loud.

 The two little dogs took off running as fast as their little legs could carry them. They didn't realize the big dog was tethered and couldn't get at them unless they got closer.

It made me think of Satan, and how he can't get at us either, unless we get too close and/or let him.

During New Testament times, when Jesus walked the earth, Satan and his demons could enter a person and dwell in them and cause great

suffering. Jesus healed many of the people during that time and cast out the demons. But since His church began, Satan has to have our permission to dwell in us, and many are willing to give him that permission.
Zechariah 13: 1 In that day there shall be a fountain opened to the house of David and to the inhabitants of Jerusalem for sin and for uncleanness.
2 And it shall come to pass in that day, saith the LORD of hosts, that I will cut off the names of the idols out of the land, and they shall no more be remembered: and also I will cause the prophets and the unclean spirit to pass out of the land.

DEER SEASON and...DEAR SEASON

 

Our son purchased a new deer rifle and when he got home and really got a good look at what he had bought...he discovered that it is a dangerous gun. The way he explained it, he could use the gun and it would be okay, because he is aware of the flaws and the way it is made.   But...he is thinking on down the line when his grandchild may want to go hunting with it and he may not be around to warn him about it.

 

He brought it by and showed it to his dad today, but he is taking it back to the store to get his money back...hopefully. His thinking of his future generations.... made me thing of King Hezekiah in 2 Kings 20, who was not thinking of his.

 

King Hezekiah was a good king. Hezekiah was twenty-five years old when he became king of Judah and he reigned in Jerusalem twenty-nine years. Here is what the Bible says about him in Chapter 18: "He did what was right in the eyes of the Lord. He removed the high places, smashed the sacred stones and cut down the Asherah poles. He broke into pieces the bronze snake Moses had made, because the Israelites had been worshipping it and burning incense to it. He trusted in the Lord, the God of Israel. There was no one like him among all the kings of Judah, either before him or after him. He held fast to the Lord and did not cease to follow Him........"

 

But...he let his pride get in his way later. He was so proud of the treasures in the temple that he showed them off to the messengers of the King of Babylon. Then Isaiah the prophet went to him and asked, "What did those men say, and where did they come from?" "From a distant land, "Hezekiah replied,. "They came from Babylon." The prophet asked, "What did they see in your palace?" They saw everything in my palace," Hezekiah said. "There is nothing among my treasures that I did not show them."

 

Isaiah then told Hezekiah what the Lord had said. "The time will surely come when everything in your palace, and all that your fathers have stored up until this day, will be carried off to Babylon. Nothing will be left, says the Lord. And some of your descendants, your own flesh and blood that will be born to you, will be taken away, and they will become eunuchs in the palace of the king of Babylon."

 

Do you think Hezekiah was upset because of this? It didn't sound like it. He said, "The word of the Lord you have spoken is good," Because he thought, "Will there not be peace and security in my lifetime?" How sad...coming from such a great king of Judah.

 

You can read all about Hezekiah's reign from 2 Kings 18 through chapter 20. It is very interesting! Good King Hezekiah shows how we can walk with God...and still displease Him at times too. It calls for careful thinking on our part.

 

Thank you Wendell, and Kathy too, for thinking of our future generations with the situation of the gun...and also much more important stuff! DEER SEASON comes once a year for a few weeks...but DEAR SEASON is always open.

 

 

FOOTSTEPS

As we trace the steps of Jesus,
May ours also be so plain;
'Cause the little ones who follow...
May be walking in the rain.

For the world will cast its shadow
As they walk along the Way;...
Like it did upon our Savior
On that dark and hateful day.

For that day to Him was grievous,
Plain to all who were there to see;
But that day turned in all glorious...
For the likes of you and me.
©Edna L. Ingram

COMMITMENT IN MARRIAGE. By Wendell Ingram

My favorite picture of Wendell & Kathy.

 

 

COMMITMENT IN MARRIAGE

 

There was a couple who had two little children. They lived on a farm and it was in the early 1900's. She usually didn't go to town with him on Saturday afternoons, because of having to get the two little ones ready and it was not an easy chore keeping up with them while they were in town, and buying what they needed. So most of the time her husband went alone and did the shopping.

 

One Saturday afternoon when he went to do the shopping, he came back later that night, and then every Saturday he came back later and later.

 

One of her neighbors told her one day that he was going to the dances and dancing with a lot of the young women there. This young wife and mother didn't know what to do about it and her neighbor told her to get herself fixed up and when he came in from the field to be ready to go to town with him.

 

She said that she couldn't...she had those two little children to take care of. The neighbor pleaded with her to let her come get them and keep them that night. So that is what she decided to do.

 

The next Saturday when her husband came in from work at noon, she had his lunch all fixed and she was dressed to go. He asked her what she was dressed up for. She said, "I'm going to town with you today."

He said, "You can't...What about the babies?" She said, "Our neighbor is taking care of them all night." He got really mad.

She said, "I know you have been going to the dances and I am going to go to the dance with you."

 

Her husband said, "Wouldn't you be a pretty thing to take to a dance?"

Can't you just imagine that remark felt like a knife cutting through her heart?

She swallowed her pride and the lump in her throat and said, "I'm just as pretty as the day you married me...and if you are going to the dance, I am going with you."

 

He just went back outside and harnessed up the team and went back to the field. He never went to the dances again.

 

They stayed married and raised those two children plus they had 6 more children. They all married and raised families of their own and stayed together. None of their 8 children were ever divorced. Most now have grown old and passed away.

 

Now, can you just imagine what would have happened if this woman had let her pride hurt her enough to end their marriage. How many lives would have been changed? Commitment in marriage meant something to her. It needs to mean something to us today.

 

This lady was 90 years old when she related this story to us. I thought she was just telling this for her own benefit...maybe she was still hurting from it, but I realized later that she didn't tell it for her own benefit. She told it for the sake of myself and my wife.  We had at that time, just recently married and she wanted us to know the meaning of commitment in a marriage.   

 By Wendell Ingram 

HOW I MET BOBBY

 



The year was 1955, the middle of May…the morning of our high school class trip. My best friend, Melba Ingram had her brother bring her to my grandma’s house. He had just come home from serving our country in the US army. My grandmother lived across the street from the school building and we were supposed to be on the school bus by 7:30 a.m.

 

That was the first time I had met Bobby, and it was only for a few seconds…long enough for Melba to introduce us and get her stuff out of the car. Melba’s birthday was later that week and Bobby told her that he would take her and a girlfriend to the movies for her birthday…if he could choose the girl friend. She said ok…and that was the beginning of our ‘friendship.’ That ‘movie night’ Bobby asked me for a ” real” date.

We were engaged three months later, on Bobby's birthday August 20, 1955... and in another three months we were married. This next November we will have been married 58 years! It seems like such a short time. I’d opt for 58 more if it were possible.

Another part of this saga.  Exactly one year earlier, on the last day of school, one of Bobby’s friends that wrote to him while he was in the army had just gotten married and she brought his picture and gave it to back to his sister, Melba. Melba asked me if I wanted it.  I thought that was kind of strange…since I didn’t know him… but he was just sooooo handsome, so I told her yes.  The picture above is the one she gave me.  I never thought in my wildest dreams that I would get to date him…much less marry him!  This was about a year before I met him. I took it home and put it on a table in our living room.

When Bobby came and picked me up for our first date… he was very surprised that I had a picture of him on my little table!  It had been right there for a year.  I hadn’t even thought of it that night. So I explained to him why I had it. Happy and funny memories! We laughed about this last night…again! I kept this picture until we married and then his mother wanted to trade me an 8 X 10 for the 5X7…because she didn’t have a frame to fit the larger one.
 
"Now…many happy years and two children, three grandchildren and four great-grandchildren later …life is still wonderful!  By God's wondrous grace and His guidance and providence, we are where we are today!

Late Note of August 2013: When Bobby was in from the army, there was farm land with two houses for sale about 15 miles South and he wanted to go look at it. His dad told him he needed to go to Ada first, so Bobby took him to Ada. When they finally got to go look at the farm, another man and his wife were there looking too…and they purchased it. 

So…if Bobby’s dad hadn’t needed to go to Ada that day…I might never have met Bobby. He would probably have bought that farm and moved over there and worked it…so thank you Grandpa Grady Ingram for that. Bobby didn’t need to farm anyway. He needed to be a barber.  His career was also by God's grace because he was always available to his children whether at work or at home.